January 24th 2008 Mojo Nixon's Lyin' Cocksuckers Show Summary

I declare the presidential race over. I know super Tuesday is coming. I’m here to tell you that no republican can win. I’ve seen the numbers and done the studying. They’re going to have a hard time winning because of Bush’s unpopularity. But add to that an economic collapse, stagflation, recession. The republicans can’t win. If the economy is in the shitter, no republican will be president. I know it is real because it is on the cover of all the payers. There’s a credit crunch, a mortgage crisis, a big deficit and wall St. is shitting in their pants with fear.

It is real because the politicians are talking about giving us a tax rebate. Otherwise no one would offer a tax rebate during an election year. Giving each household 500-1000 bucks is like pissing in the ocean. Our economy is 9 trillion bucks, and you’re going to fix it by giving everyone $1k.

I’ve said it before. Democrats could run Hitler Jr against Jesus Jr and they’d win because of the war and the economy. We’ve been lied into an unnecessary an unwinnable war and the republicans can’t go around saying Bush is an arrogant, torturing motherfucker. Most of the country doesn’t like Bush and think he’s screwing everything up. So the republicans have no chance. Bush, the war and the economy (even if it isn’t their fault) they’re going to be blamed for it.

Call in 866-4-RAWDOG. Someone explain how a republican will get elected in November. If they are talking a stimulus plan, they believe the economy is going to the shitter too. Some of you are saying they still have gay marriage, Mexicans and 9/11, but it isn’t enough. The only one who stands a chance is John McCain does well is because he gets a lot of independents to vote for him. But he won’t get the core republicans to show up and vote for him. He’s against tougher immigration rules and campaign finance. He might have had a chance if he didn’t have to carry the war on his back. I liked him when he was a maverick. But if the economy is in the toilet, no republican has a chance.

You may call and hate democrats, but you need to use logic. McCain was saying the other day how Hillary Clinton wants to surrender in Iraq.

Did Iraq attack us? Our enemy is bin Laden. We aren’t at war with Iraq. We were lied into it. Our enemies aren’t in Iraq. The best we can do is get out and let the Iraqis solve their own problems. Would you go down there and walk down the street? No, it is too dangerous.

Barak Obama said the other day that he likes to watch the Wire on TV. And that his favorite character is Omar. That’s my favorite show and favorite character. I know you shouldn’t pick a candidate based on their favorite show and character, but it makes as much sense as anything else. I think Deadwood is the greatest show on TV ever. Have you seen the Wire? Deadwood? What is wrong with HBO for not putting on a third season.

Can a republican be elected.
What’s the best show on TV
What’s the greatest show on TV of all time.

Chris in TX
C – I agree with you. No way republicans are going to get anything in Nov.
M – for anyone to win you have to get a lot of people to cross over and get people from the other party to stay home.
C - Best show on TV, I like House
M – crazy crippled doctor from England
C – yea. Can’t tell you the greatest show ever.
M – I’m going to put out Twin Peaks and the Andy Griffith show along with Deadwood just to get the debate started.

Comedy break with Eddie Murphy

Stephanie in FL
S – Best show is South Park. Politically speaking, that show rocks
M – I have problems with the primitive animation, my 13 year-old son loves it, so it is probably at my level of humor.
S – As dumb as it sounds, it is great that your son loves it because it is sending a message to the youth of today on any topic. As for republicans winning, I think they have stacked the deck. It is hard to think against them with a woman and a black man on the other side.
M – a lot of people don’t vote. With Hillary some women may come out to vote, and with Obama, some black folks may come out to vote who wouldn’t otherwise.
S – Yea, but at the same time, Hillary wrapped up in the scandal, and the Clinton party is about to accuse Obama of being a Muslim and practicing the Koran.
M – there’s been a lot of that on the internet and rumors. But they might fight it out and team it up come November.
S – At this point, let’s hope so. While I have my doubts about Hillary and Barak, I have more about the republicans because of Bush. It is hard to put faith in the republicans after the last 8 years.
M – Mitt Romney may come over to your house tomorrow. He looks more like a game show host than a politician.
S – I was just saying that to my husband the other day.
M – I used to have a game called Mr. game show host. I’m not making this up, but the character looked just like Mitt. He had a great line, “who shot the sofa?” talking about a lady’s ugly dress.

Wally
W – I think both sides are lying cocksuckers. I wish Doug Stanhope had continued campaigning.
M – I love Doug and know him a little bit, he’s wild crazy and free, like Bill Hicks.
W – You should see the movie Zeitgeist which is free on the internet.
M – there used to be a band by that name too. I thought it was Zigotist, too big of a word for me.
W – favorite TV show was Sopranos, but the best ever was the Twilight Zone
M – ooh, that’s a good one. So you like old shows.

Wayne in Tucson
W – You’re right about McCain, but the problem is getting this bi-partisan support out the window.
M – 8 years ago he ran against Bush and I liked him as a guy. I like that he’s been a POW. Whatever they did to him, we can’t do worse.
W – They made him strong.
M – 4 years ago he started toeing the bush line, but now he shouldn’t be doing it.
W – There are some advantages to having it over there. If they want to see Allah, let them do it from over there. Favorite show is Deadwood ever.
M – the sheriff is a nut job homicidal maniac.
W – there’s a lot of historical accuracy. That’s how those crazy pioneers were.
M – I went to Deadwood out when I was in Sturgis last year. I went and put my dick on Calamity Jane’s grave. You had to climb this big hill and some tourist family was following me around cause I had my recorder for my Sirius show. They wouldn’t leave me alone so I could take my dick out.

Comedy break

Mike in NJ
Mi – republicans can win. Watching their sleepers, they will. This is the best campaign ever saying they won’t win. This will go on and America won’t bet on the woman or the black man.
M – if you’re republican you have to think Iraq was a good idea and responsibility for the downturn in the economy. If you have a downturn and the war and bush, then you don’t have a chance.
Mi – if the Democrat gives you the warm and fuzzies, they won’t get you out of the war or fix the economy.
M – the democrats have proven over time that they can fuck up a one man rock fight.
Mi – best show on TV right now is that cat-house show because every guy who wants to get out there but can’t wants to know what goes on in those whore houses.
M – I’ve been to one in NV in winnemaka with my manager Bullethead. There was only one girl there for me and she only had three fingers on one hand. I had to say I declined.
Mi – all time is the price is right.
M – I don’t know the price of anything. You can figure out the prices.
Mi – it did jump the shark with Drew Carey

Keith in VA
K – favorite TV show is Archie bunker for all time. On right now, I like House. He’s cocky and arrogant and I like that. I’ve been through a lot of surgeries. There is something about his bedside manner that is great. He hates everyone
M – an equal opportunity hater. I’ve never sat down and watched it.

The wire isn’t real, but it seems that way. Also because it is on HBO you can show titties, say motherfucker and blow someone’s head off. That’s why Deadwood and Soprano’s and Oz were great. On regular TV (which should be a separate category) I like Law and Order Criminal Intent. There is a crazy Sherlock Holmes character by Dinofrio. My sleeper show is a show with Jay Moore called Action that was on Fox. They only made like 6 shows. The show was awful and the swore through it all so they bleeped it out. But you buy it on DVD and you can hear all that.

Is it time to take a break? I’m all confused.

John in MT

M – I forget what time it is or what I’m supposed to be doing.
J – I don’t think the republicans have a chance but they slipped Bush in on us too.
M – That second time Bush was in, it was already proven he got us into a bad war, but he still go reelected. The only people who want to see bush in are the oil companies.
J – greatest TV show of all time is Deadwood.
M – My wife will hear the show from the other room. They use flowery language like Shakespeare but the slip in cocksucker. My wife will yell in to turn that cocksucker show off.
J – they’re silver tongued devils but crazy motherfuckers as well.
M – they’re on Indian land and not supposed to be there so there is no real law. The sheriff is crazy in that show. Think about everyone else.

Derek in WY
D – I watch the history channel and the discovery channel but that’s it.
M – I watched a good Hitler show
D – I like anything about history where you can learn something. It would be great if some of the reporters would report with honesty. We went to Iraq because of ethnic cleansing, but they won’t report that. Hussein was gassing the Kurds, no different than Hitler. There are two wars, one Iraq and one Afghanistan. The only like is Hussein
M – there was no link. Even the president said so. He gassed them in 89. Hussein didn’t use any chemical or nuclear weapons during the first war. We thought he would. My point is are damned if we do and damned if we don’t stay there.
-receiving issues on my end—
D – we won’t see peace in the mid east for 20 years.
M – as soon as we leave they’ll start fighting against each other again just as they have for the last hundred years.

Comedy break